Rule 28 - If someone offers to buy you a drink…let them…then thank them.  Forgetting the latter is shitty behavior to the highest of shitivity.

if i had a nickel for every time i heard this line

Rule 27 - Buy a garden gnome and place outside somewhere on your porch, backyard, etc.  Expect him to be liberated at some point.  Don’t be alarmed as this is normal.  If no ransom note is received with 72 hours, purchase a new one or creatively acquire yourself one.

Say hello to my little friend!!!

Rule 26 - Cinco is one of the best holidays of the year.  Go out and celebrate Mexican awesomeness.  Just make sure to be careful out there.

Rule 25 - Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

This post was written by Chad Elkins.

Rule 24 - Muffin tops only look good on one thing…muffins.  Wearing something tight that shows the muffin is probably just making you look bigger than you actually are.

This post was written by Chad Elkins.

Rule 23 - A dog is never just a dog nor is a cat ever just a cat.

This post was written by Chad Elkins.