Rules of Awesomeness

Rule 29 - Asking out a friend’s sibling is strictly forbidden.  Only three conditions can overturn this rule and all three must be met in order for this to be allowed:

1.  You must ask friend in advance for permission.

2.  You have to eventually marry that person.

3.  You may not show any of your other friends pictures of that person naked and you can not share with them details about any sexual exploits.

damn she's hot...but she's my buddy's sister...decisions...decisions

Rule 28 - If someone offers to buy you a drink…let them…then thank them.  Forgetting the latter is shitty behavior to the highest of shitivity.

if i had a nickel for every time i heard this line

Rule 27 - Buy a garden gnome and place outside somewhere on your porch, backyard, etc.  Expect him to be liberated at some point.  Don’t be alarmed as this is normal.  If no ransom note is received with 72 hours, purchase a new one or creatively acquire yourself one.

Say hello to my little friend!!!

Rule 26 - Cinco is one of the best holidays of the year.  Go out and celebrate Mexican awesomeness.  Just make sure to be careful out there.

Rule 25 - Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

This post was written by Chad Elkins.

Rule 24 - Muffin tops only look good on one thing…muffins.  Wearing something tight that shows the muffin is probably just making you look bigger than you actually are.

This post was written by Chad Elkins.