Rules of Awesomeness

Rule 22 - Guys:  The little thin stir straws given in liquor drinks out at a bar are not meant for you to drink out of.  End of story.

Girls:  Acceptable behavior only if you use more than one otherwise, you are likely to get a hernia trying to pull your tasty beverage thru there.  Well there’s that…and we want you to get drunk quicker.

Rule 21 - Drunk dialing someone you have not had sex with during the last 6 months is totally not acceptable. 

The only exception here is if said arrangement was pre-determined to be probable in the near future and that communication took place within the last 30 days.

Rule 20 - There is no excuse for bad hair.  For reals.

Rule 19 - Don’t pick a fight in a bar or public place.  Totally douchetastic behavior and very unnecessary.  Walk the path of awesomeness…which is up to the guy’s girlfriend that just got bounced out of the bar for scrapping, then take her home. How ya like them apples!

Rule 18 - Be cool man.  Just be cool.

Rule 17 - Bathe regularly.  Srsly.  No one wants to smell or be around your stank ass.  Cleanliness is awesomeness.