Rule 42 - Farting on a date is pretty much always gonna be a big no-no, especially if you are out in public.  In certain public places if you have reached the point in your relationship where dropping the chalupa is acceptable then it can be quite funny…cause let’s face it…farts are funny stuff.  But if you have have not gotten to the dropping ass phase of your time spent together and you let one slip, then here are some options to play off the uncomfortable and embarassing situation:

1. Be proactive and ask the farter, “Maybe I should have pulled your finger first?”

2. Tell the smeller, “If we were in the bed I would totally have your head shoved under the covers right now.”

3. Butt blower states, “Damn good thing it was just air.”

4. Point at the farter telling them, “You’re freaking gross…but I like it.”

5. Tell the air attacker, “That’s not bad…judges are giving it a 6.5, but I think for sure it should have gotten an 8.”

6. Receiver of the air biscuit should try and guess what the person had for the previous meal.  Generally, a very strange and odd food combination.

7. Try and pass the blame onto an unsuspecting victim.  Pets, the elderly, and children are very easy targets for this backfire transfer.  The trick is to really sell it by saying something to the target about their nastiness. 

8. The bean bomber should immediately give the other person a high five proclaiming “that one was awesome!!!”.

9. If you are in the car, the easiest way to shift off the blowing of the butt trumpet is to just to say, “I think we just passed something dead on the road.”

10. Simply say “excuse me”…and chuckle a little…everyone thinks they are funny. 

The biggest mistake you can make is to show it bothers you and that you are embarassed.  Everyone poops…everyone farts…and everyone burps.  Try and make light of the situation and go on strolling down the path of the awesome.

This post was written by Chad Elkins.